Welcome, dear Reader(s) to the penultimate recap of the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones. A LOT went on this week, so strap yourselves in cuz you’re in for a long and interesting ride as we discuss all the doings of “The Bells.”

“Any man’s death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

Ding Dong indeed.

Jim: As this week’s episode begins, Varys is passing notes about Jon’s true lineage, presumably to the remaining lords of Westeros. One of his little birds passes along the 411 that Dany is depressed, refuses to eat, and Netflix’s “Are You Still Watching?” message is in a holding pattern on her KhaleesiPad.

Jon arrives and delivers news of the army of the North’s imminent arrival and Varys throws up a Hail Mary pass about who holds the true power in Westeros which Jon totally refuses to catch. Tyrion totally tattles on Varys and his treasonous ideas and Dany’s all “finally, I have something to braid my hair for.” After a super heartfelt goodbye between old friends Varys and Tyrion, Dany and Drogon cook up one Spider, well done.

Question - how did you feel about the final goodbye between the Imp and Varys? Was this a case of Justifiable Flambe? As we’ll get to later, clearly Varys wasn’t wrong, but was going straight to Jon his only possible move?

Lacey: I mean, from Dany’s POV, it’s as justifiable a flambe as ever there was, but she’s more of a flambe and ask questions later kind of bitch lately. He was actively treasoning against a queen he’d sworn fealty to, so technically a justified moment to light someone up. Going to Jon was, perhaps, not his best move, but if you want to make someone king, they’ve got to at least be a little bit on board. And, if we notice, Jon wasn’t the one to rat Varys’ bald-ass out, Tyrion did that dirty deed. Tyrion, Tyrion, Tyrion, what are we going to do with you? Always wanting to believe the best of the women you love. I realize that he went to Dany with a slim hope that she’d see she was acting a fool and would spare the Spider’s life, but he should know better by now. It makes it a lot less touching for me because he caused it, he betrayed his friend. A friend whose only real crime was trying to protect the people of the Seven Kingdoms from tyrants. RIP Lord of Whispers, I hope little Martha survives her messenger girl duties.

Essie: At first blush, it seemed to me that Varys was following a motif that has become strikingly apparent over the past couple seasons of the show… take these smart-as-fuck characters and have them do a stupid thing… or many stupid things in Tyrion’s case. Varys being that up front about his treasoning, basically just blurting out to Tyrion and Jon that he wants to supplant their queen, seems pretty f’n stupid. The more I thought and read about it, though, the more I began to think that I’m sure he thought what he was doing was probably going to cost him his life, but with the immediacy at which things were escalating… namely Dany getting ready to light some shit up… I think he felt that what he did was his only option, even if it did cost him his life. And props to him for facing it with a steely resolve and no apparent fear. He’s also the only person fricasseed on this show that hasn’t gone out screaming. Dude wasn’t a fighter, but he was a tough person for sure.

There’s also an interesting theory out there, that my mom brought to my attention (belated Mother’s Day to the moms!), that Varys was trying to poison Dany, which is why he was so interested in if she was eating. I wonder if that’s where the writers were going with this? An interesting thought to be sure.

The fact is, Dany told him a while back that if he thinks she is ever doing anything that is going to harm the realm, for him to tell her and not try to replace her, because if he did, she would feed him to her dragons (plural). And he did tell her… and she ignored him… and then he conspired against her… and then she fed him to her dragon (singular). So, hey, at least he kept his word before looking for another solution!

Lastly here, Varys has always been one of the most interesting characters in the show to me (and in the books as well). Everyone always seems to be guessing at his motives, but he really is out for the realm and the smallfolk (as Jim arrogantly refers to them). So much so that he actually gives his life for them. We’ve also seen a few occurrences where he’s trying to get information from someone, and instead of being cruel, he pretty much bribes them to the point where they’d be foolish to say no. I’m thinking specifically of him trying to find out about the Sons of the Harpy in Meereen, and while he does imply a very serious threat to the woman he’s speaking with, she eventually leaves the city with a bag full of gold and is off to find a better life. I think that the Spider was one of the small few characters on the show motivated by good intentions, and that’s part of the reason that he and Tyrion bonded, because he is also not a cruel person, and they are actually both outcasts.

Okay, one last point, I don’t think that Tyrion turned him into Dany because he thought she would show mercy, but I think he did so because he saw Varys talking to Jon and he figured word would soon get back to his queen, so he best get in front of it and confess before she burned him to Halfman cinders as well. I think he was hoping to spare his friend’s life, but ultimately I think he was more interested in preserving his. And, you know, I think he was trying to be loyal to his queen, because as Lacey points out, he is someone who does want to think the best of people, even those (like his sister) who give him ZERO cause to.

Though I still disagree that he’s in love with Dany, because as Sansa pointed out to him, Dany scares him… and I think it’s difficult to be in love with someone who you feel may burn you alive at any moment.

Jim: Dany and Torgo Nudho are having a Miss Andi bonfire as Jon enters and hits her with the least convincing “I love you” since Donald & Melania’s wedding. Dany complains that Sansa bested her and that she only has fear on her side in Westeros. She tries to beguile her nephew but he can’t bring himself to return the favor.

A bit later, Tyrion tries to convince Dany, ONCE AGAIN, not to burn the city and murder innocent children, but she’s all “tough titties, these kids are gonna die, but that’s just so future kids don’t have to live under Cersei - sucks to be them!” She seems to agree that if the city surrenders and the bells ring that she’ll call off the attack. She also informs Tyrion that Jaime has been apprehended.

What do you think stopped Jon? Is it because the incest angle weirds him out or was he doubting her state of mind generally? In the span of about 2 hours, Tyrion dropped a dime, had to work waaaay harder than need be to convince someone not to commit mass murder, and then finds out his brother couldn’t live without some last minute sister ass - is he perhaps regretting all his life choices at that moment?

Lacey: I don’t think the auntie love itself is what turned Jon off. I feel like he’s sensing some things about her motivations that are turning him off, also, “Lie to your family about who you are.” is a big ask, even for a queen. It felt a little bit, to me, in this scene, that she was just trying to get it to prove that she still could. To prove that some Westerosi, any Westerosi loved her. Which also speaks to her state of mind to me. She has just lost 4 of the creatures closest to her in a very short timespan, it’ll spin out your head. I fully destroyed a very good relationship after my best friend passed away, so I’m feeling a weird mix of empathy and revulsion when it comes to Khaleesi right now.

As I said in my last answer, when is Tyrion going to learn? Maybe if he didn’t spend so much time around narcissistic royals, he’d have a better gauge of what actual human reaction is like. Tyrion is, in a lot of ways, for being raised as an outsider and a monster, the most real, relatable character in the Game of Thrones world. His idealism, and desire for everyone to be their best selves is his Achilles heel. If he were more pragmatic, like, say, a certain someone who just got toasted like a smore, he might be able to see that not everyone listens to their better angels. Hell, some people don’t even have better angels, but they do have dragons.

Essie: Since I rambled on and on about My Favorite Eunuch™ (coming this fall to CBS!) in the first question, I’ll keep this short. I agree with Lacey almost in total, but I do think Jon is very creeped out by the whole sexual-relations-with-blood-relations thing. And, really, good on him, as scoring with your dad’s sister is turbo-gross. (Ed. Note - everybody knows it is much hotter to score with your Mom’s sister)

Remembering what could have been for Jon & Dany before shit went sideways.

Jim: In King’s Landing, the smallfolk (as Essie derisively likes to call them) file inside the city walls and we focus in on Lori Petty and her adorable kid, who I’m sure will be totally fine. No need to worry about them. Tyrion asks Davos for a smuggling favor before he takes a moment alone with Jaime, who is shackled in a tent. Jaime seems to have convinced himself that Cersei still has a chance to win, but Tyrion sells him on a plan to sneak her out of the city and sail away to Pentos to start a new life. The brothers hug it out and I’m proud of myself cuz I didn’t even cry during that emotional moment.

Not a lot, anyway.

Ok, shut up, so my allergies were REALLY acting up during that scene. Peter Dinklage and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau have always been incredible scene partners and this may have been their best.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the final scene of the Brothers Lannister and what you think a life for Jaime & Cersei in Pentos would’ve looked like.

Lacey: I’ve always loved the relationship between the Brothers Lannister. They’re kind of 2 sides of the same coin, one golden, beautiful, blessed, talented and vaunted by the family, the other twisted, strange and hidden. Imagine what their combined strengths could do in one person? It was a lovely moment, Tyrion thanking Jaime for always treating him as an equal, returning the favor for saving his life, trying to do the best thing for his family. It was really beautiful.

There is no life for Jaime & Cersei in Pentos. Cersei would never be content to just sit back and start a new life somewhere. She’d be scheming revenge and overthrow as soon as they were on dry land. Jaime’s love was never enough for her. Her children’s love was never enough for her. In fact, love was never her jam at all. She wanted power. She wanted to prove herself just as worthy as any man in a world that would never accept that. She would find some rich, powerful dude to saddle herself to that she could then quietly murder and take everything of his for herself.

Essie: Loved this scene and I wrote this note down as I was watching: “Tyrion is saying thank you to Jaime and why am I crying?”

I agree with both of your assessments (though, really, who are you to make assessments?). The key to this is the relationship and the actors playing it and their chemistry. I loved that they both recognized that this was their last goodbye (not to go all Jeff Buckley here), and they played it with that emotion. I wonder if this was the last scene these guys shot? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. The emotion was palpable. I also loved the fact that Tyrion got to return the favor of freeing his brother, knowing full well that it would probably cost him his life. Again, trying to do the right thing… both by his brother and for all the smallfolk (as Jim mockingly refers to them).

Also, I couldn’t agree more with what Lacey said about Cersei. She would still be a threat, even across the Narrow Sea. She was in denial that everything was crumbling around her until it LITERALLY crumbled around her. If she would have escaped alive, her arrogance and her desire for revenge would have propelled her… not to mention that crazy megalomaniacal streak she has.

Lastly here, Jim obviously has Lori Petty on the brain because he loves Kit Keller and, more specifically, how she finally got the best of her sister, as she totally jarred that ball loose at the end of A League of Their Own… right, James?? (Lacey note: OOOoooh shit! I forgot how much Jim hates the end of A League of Their Own, Essie done did it now!)

Jim: It’s a beautiful day for a barbecue and Dany & Drogon brought the lighter fluid as they swoop down out of the clouds and immediately go to work on the Iron Fleet. Swagger Captain Euron Greyjoy directs his Scorpion battery, but it’s way less effective when he doesn’t have the element of surprise on his side. Dany makes quick work of the flotilla, even making sure Euron gets all blowed up for good measure...or did he?

The Mother of Dragons heads to the city walls and lights those bitches on fire lickety-split. Meanwhile, outside the front gate, the Golden Company stares down the hodge podge army across the way and are feeling pretty smug until Dany blows up the front gate, most of the wall, and a fuckin’ horse for good measure. Nobody has been that mean to a horse since Mongo punched one in the face in Blazing Saddles.

This is the signal and Grey Worm, Jon, the Unsullied, a bunch of Northmen, some surviving Dothraki and, for the love of God, Davos begin their assault. I bet the Golden Company wishes they had those battle elephants now.

This episode was shot by the same Director of Photography who did the Battle of Bastards and there was a nice nod to his own legendary shot of Jon Snow staring down the charging cavalry on his own when the Golden Company commander was in a similar position but he turned tail & ran until Grey Worm speared him in the back.

The good guys essentially waltz right through the Lannister army and it seems this battle is going to be over before it even really started. In the Red Keep, Qyburn informs Cersei that all the Scorpions are destroyed and the Iron Fleet is burning and she’s all “No biggie, I don’t think the heavy stuff is going to come down for quite some time.”

At this point were you thinking it really couldn’t be going anymore swimmingly for the invaders? The Golden Company were essentially useless - do they come with a money back guarantee?

Lacey: I saw people complaining about the scorpions online, but really, Dany figured out that they were much less maneuverable than Drogon. Get them all aimed one way, fake ‘em out, burn them from the other way. Goodnight scorpions, goodnight Iron Fleet, goodnight Cap’n Euron’s crazy swagger steez. For just a second, I’d like to digress, based on the fact that the Golden Company dude’s name is Harry Strickland. GRRM has these crazy, fantastical, world-appropriate names, then here comes Harry Strickland, Regional Manager for Accounting and Non-Elephant Battle Formations. (See also: Jaime Lannister, Uncle Kevan Lannister, Catelyn Stark, any of your various Bran/Brandons, your Jeyne-pronounced-Jennys), did he have someone he really liked, or hated, that he wanted to call out? I don’t know. Anyway, the Golden Company got reverse Trojan-horsed, or possibly oopty-ooped; rag-tag bunch of schmoes in front of them, DRAGON from behind. It was a very, very cool shot, among an episode filled with very, very cool shots. Good job, DP. They weren’t totally useless, I’m sure if they’d had to meet the Northmen/Unsullied/Dothraki in the field, things would have gone better for good ol’ Harry Strickland. But seeing as he got hit from behind by a dragon, then Grey Worm, I’d say he fulfilled the terms of his contract for whoever is collecting that money.

Things were going great, city is falling easily, all of the ducks are getting right into a row. Such nice ducks, it’d be a shame if anything were to happen to them.

Essie: Looks to me like the Golden Company were all just a bunch of glorified red shirts… out there to die just to show how dire things are. I really did expect more to come of that storyline. But they ain’t no match for no dragon and a pissed-as-fuck queen.

And you couldn’t NOT think of the shot of Jon Snow from Battle of the Bastards staring down the cavalry charge. The problem with Harry Strickland (really, that’s this dude’s fucking name?) is that he did not do the Jon Snow Hero Pose™. It is ALL about that pose. That’s how you get yourself out of impossible situations… Jon did it during the battle, as I mentioned, and he also did it north of the Wall when they were facing off against the entire Army of the Deadz, and he got out okay.

Dumb ol’ Harry decided to run and not do the pose, and he met his demise. Foolish, foolish, foolish.

Jim: Here’s where shit gets twisted. Dany parks her dragon on someone’s rooftop (rude) and Jon & Grey Worm are in a staring contest with the Lannister army. Sensing they have absolutely zero chance of winning, the Lannister men throw down their swords and surrender.

At that point, pleas and screams to “ring the bells” erupt across the city. This was a master filmmaking class in building tension. As always, the sound design and editing were on point.

What happened next will be hotly debated in all corners of the internet until next week’s episode so everyone can bitch and moan about a story not being told exactly how they wanted it to be. Dany goes full Colonel Kurtz and lights up the city and its inhabitants, melting untold numbers of innocents on her way to the Red Keep. Grey Worm is totes on board and spears an already-surrendered soldier, prompting his mates to full-on enter melee mode. Jon tries to hold back the tide but it’s too late, the slaughter is on.

We’ll get into the “Where Do We Go From Here?” in a later question, but for now what do you think was going through Jon & Tyrion’s minds when Dany when goes Uber-Targaryen on the smallfolk? Was this Dany’s calculated gamble that she has no love on this continent so fear truly is her only choice? Did she straight up descend into madness in her quest for the throne? Do you think she remembered her vision from the House of the Undying and decided she had to destroy the Red Keep for her destiny to be fulfilled? How do you feel about a large portion of the online world being angry at how this played out?

Lacey: I get the anger, because, while the signs were there, it was clunkily done in the end. I said to a friend Sunday night that I think this season could have benefited from 2-4 more episodes to really see Dany’s psychodrama play out. Everything is feeling a little rushed to me, and hopefully things will get a little more fleshed out next week, but I’ve been watching TV long enough to not be super-hopeful about it.

Tyrion & Jon are seeing a lot of shit they’ve worked for crumble here. They are both very Good GuysTM at this point in the story. Jon is also literally, up-close seeing his men commit horrible acts for no good reason, which is almost more important to me than what Dany’s doing. He’s having to kill people a bit dishonorably, Lannister soldiers, and to stop a rape, his own Northman. The burning of King’s Landing is the act of 1 person, what’s happening on the ground is about a whole lot of people who should know better doing terrible things. The bells have rung, the city has surrendered, the soldiers have thrown down their weapons, but Grey Worm, mad with grief and revenge kicks off a shit storm on the ground. We also see Davos trying to help people get to safety before we lose track of whatever happens to him. We never see Tyrion enter the city. More of the compact, we can do this in 6 episodes stuff that I’m finding very bothersome.

As a character, Dany has always had this capacity for cruelty as a means to an end. She basically smiled as her brother, fucked up as he was, the only family she’d ever known, died a horrible, painful death at the hands of her brutal husband. She strapped Mirri Maz Duur to a funeral pyre and burnt her alive. She locked Xaro Xhaon Daxos & Doreah in a vault to die. She started having her dragons roast people with Pyat Pree, and then a lot of the city of Vaes Dothrak, she literally crucified folks. Dany’s steez has always been “blind, unquestioning loyalty and a willingness to fight for me, or you die horribly”. Sure, the city was surrendering, but they weren’t turning against the Lannisters and fighting for her, they were running for their lives and hiding. She set off to rule a land she’d never seen based on fairy tales, she bristled at the thought that the people there might have any autonomy from the moment she arrived. Nothing about what she’s done says stable, rational individual. It’s more conquering and taking worshipful members of the conquered with her, and occasionally feeling pity for 1 person and performing a good deed.

I’ll tell ya, I have thought a lot about Dany in the last few days, and it’s led me to a place of being very much on Team Varys. No one should want the Iron Throne, least of all a “breaker of chains”, it was forged in cruelty by tyrants. Dany has always been a Mad Queen, we were just supportive of her particular brand of madness. The heel turn was clunky, but people saw what they wanted in a pretty, young, occasionally good ruler, and didn’t like it when she didn’t turn out to be exactly who they thought she was. I’m going to pull-quote an exchange between her and Mirri Maz Duur from way back in season 1:

"I spoke for you," [Dany] said, anguished. "I saved you."
"Saved me?" The Lhazareen woman spat. "Three riders had taken me, not as a man takes a woman but from behind, as a dog takes a bitch. The fourth was in me when you rode past. How then did you save me? I saw my god's house burn, where I had healed good men beyond counting. My home they burned as well, and in the street I saw piles of heads. I saw the head of a baker who made my bread. I saw the head of a boy I had saved from deadeye fever, only three moons past. I heard children crying as the riders drove them off with their whips. Tell me again what you saved."
"Your life."
Mirri Maz Duur laughed cruelly. "Look to your khal and see what life is worth, when all the rest is gone.”

Dany expects fealty in return for her savior act and hasn’t responded well when someone hasn’t fallen over with gratitude for her very presence.

She’s also seemingly a big believer that one act of benevolence can make up for a heaping shitton of bad ones, and I kind of think this is just more of that. Make the people fear her now, figure out how to make them love her later. Also, like, what the hell is she going to do? She can’t have kids, this isn’t going to be a new Targaryen dynasty, all of this is for her. For one generation. Suddenly thinking that Dany is a textbook case of narcissistic personality disorder, but what ruler doesn’t have that, at least a little.

And not for nothing, but “I will take what is mine with fire and blood.” is basically her catchphrase. It’s like the *Urkel voice* “Did I do that?” of prestige television drama. Being surprised when she actually uses fire and blood to take what she believes to be hers just shows you weren’t paying attention.

Essie: Literally TOMES have been written about this heel turn over the past few days (and we sit here and scribe another), and I think that this, in and of itself, shows that, at the very least, it’s a compelling-as-hell decision for her to take this turn. Opinions about this have ranged from “This is exactly why this show is one of the best ever” to “This ruins the entire series”, and these opinions have been as fierce as they are varied.

I’ll be honest, as this was unfolding, I didn’t know what I thought about it. It was something I literally had to sit with and process, and that fact alone (to me anyway) shows how good this show can be at its best. When was the last time in a TV show there was this much to have to digest and mull over and this much conversation and staunch thoughts about something that happened? It’s not bloody often, I can say that.

Also, while I’m touching on just the show as a whole and its moments of brilliance… Jim nailed it with what he said about the production, and for me it was also about the music as the tension was building. The music was so. f’n. on. point. and added so much to the rising feeling of imminent dread; I thought the music here was as good as it’s been the entire series, and that’s saying something.

Also, certain shots during this really stood out to me… the hovering camera showing Dany/Drogon’s perspective and how it focused in on the Red Keep, the bad-ass shot of Arya and the Hound walking into King’s Landing and through the crowd with a clear intent of purpose, and the shot I waited the whole season for: Drogon’s shadow forebodingly cruising over the rooftops. All master class shit.

But, to get back to the matter at hand… the heel turn.

The more I thought about this and the more opinions I read about it, the less I struggled with the decision to have her go “Mad Queen”. This was set up in a bunch of ways throughout the entirety of the series, and even the “Previously On…” before the episode did a quick (and kinda great) summation of the Targaryen madness. I mean, girlfriend’s default mode since, what… maybe even Season 1, but definitely by Season 2… was “I WILL BURN THIS CITY TO THE GROUND!!!1” I mean, she says this very thing outside Qarth in Season 2. She wants to burn EVERYONE who opposes her. BUT… she always has someone talking her off the ledge, be it Jorah, Barristan, Tyrion, or whomever.

But now she’s lost everyone and two of her dragons and is at risk of being cast aside for someone who doesn’t even want the throne. On top of that, these people just killed her dragon and her bestie in a really short time, and Dany has no one to rein her worst impulses in like she had in the past, because Tyrion is the last voice of reason, and she doesn’t even trust him anymore, because she thinks EVERYONE has betrayed her… and I can kind of see why… though asking Jon to keep that secret is a ridiculous ask, so we can debate how much he actually “betrayed” her with that move, but that’s a whole ‘nother thing.

So, much like she has threatened countless times over, she taps into that ruthless cruelty that she has demonstrated (and as Lacey ran through above), and there is NO ONE there to check her. The last person that she may trust is Grey Worm, and he is just as pissed and revenge-seeking as his queen. Which also leads me into something else here, because I’ve seen the opinion online that people hate this because it supports the whole horrid “bitches be crazy” trope… and I find that preposterous. Her father was crazy and he was a dude… her brother was a sick fuck… and even Grey Worm seemed to relish in the carnage. Sometimes characters just have to do things and what she did has nothing to do with her being a woman. The only argument you could make is that she’d have a more difficult time gaining and holding onto power, and I get that, but to say she went mad because she’s female is just too much. Even if she was male, Jon would still have the better claim, being the son of the first son… much like how the throne went to Joff and not Stannis after Robert’s death.

With all of that said, did they rush through the past couple seasons of this show? Yes. Did they mishandle some of it? For sure. Would this have been better if it had some time to breathe? Most definitely. BUT… I think this heel turn was certainly set up throughout the course of the show’s run, even if the payoff and resolution of it plays as a bit ham-fisted.

One thing’s for certain… it has forged a TON of steeled opinions, both good and bad… and, personally, I think that speaks volumes in its favor.

Jim: The Kingslayer, who had been taking the circuitous route to the Red Keep bumps into Euron, who was out for a leisurely swim. Jaime insists they need to get the Queen out of King’s Landing but Euron has a dick measuring contest in mind and they commence with the fisticuffs. Jaime winds up stabbed twice but in the end what is dead will never...well, in this case he’s dead. Euron is dead. He insisted he was a King, Jaime said “bitch, please, you’re no Damphair” and finally ended it.

Thoughts on the fight and the importance of Euron Greyjoy in the final days of the Lannister reign?

Lacey: Euron “Dressed by Rock & Republic for Kohl’s” Greyjoy was basically there to kill Rhaegar and set-up step 2 of Dany’s heartbreak/quick spiral into madness. He didn’t kill Jaime, he didn’t impregnate Cersei, he did nothing. And I’ll never be able to decide if his crazy means that he had a massive dick, or a very tiny one, it’s only one way or the other, an average dick does not produce that level of showboat. What, you brought it up.

Essie: Ugh… this fucking guy. And after going on a screed about how this show has moments of brilliance, we get this storyline and this dude just fucking happens to wash up at the EXACT spot Jaime’s at and at the EXACT time he’s there. Euron Greyjoy is GoT at its worst. He’s a ridiculous, time-bending, warp-speed-traveling, scenery-chewing plot device, and everything about him and his story is just terrible. Good last line, though. That’s about all I can say about this.

Jim: Cersei FINALLY listens to reason and decides to hightail it out of the Red Keep with creepy Qyburn & The Mountain. Meanwhile, The Hound and Arya are crossing the Where in the World is Carmen San Diego map when the Hound convinces Arya not to let vengeance consume her life.

Sandor continues on until he meets Gregor, or what used to be Gregor, on the staircase and it’s on...

BUT FIRST - the Mountain crushes creepy Qyburn’s head like a grape and flicks him away like an ant and I’ve got to admit, I laughed out loud...I LOL’d if you will, and how absurdly quickly he killed him! Couldn’t happen to a nicer creep. Cersei tiptoed outta there like the Kool Aid man after bursting through the wall of Peter Griffin’s sentencing hearing.

What followed was brutal, kinda gross, and dare I say, extremely beautiful as the Hound pulled the anti-Thor and went for the head. Though it didn’t really matter cuz he had to resort to tackling him through the wall of the Red Keep where the brothers plummeted to their deaths in the raging fire below.

Thoughts on Cleganebowl? I thought that shot of them falling into the fire was profoundly beautiful for a death scene. What do you make of Arya taking the Hound’s advice and letting go of her vengeance, at least for Cersei? Clearly we’ll get into some other Arya shit later but I’m curious how this moment played for you.

Lacey: Can I be the first (on this blog) to say that I was merely whelmed by Cleganebowl? Like, YAS, it happened, but I feel like dear Sandor deserved more. More closure, more winning, less eye-gouging by his gross Frankenbrother. Where I watched, we were following zombie rules and were like, so a head-shot will definitely end this, right? But, noooo The Mountain that Won’t Die just pulls the dang knife out of his eye. What the hell, man? I mean, sure the double-dive into the flames was poetic, and another great shot, but sigh. I wanted more for the Hound.

Arya abandoning her need for vengeance rings hollow to me here. Whither the reciter of the list? Whither the girl who fed Walder Frey his sons in a pie? That’s not a girl that gets a quick speech from someone and bails, even if that someone is one of her murder coaches. It would have been so easy for her to gank Cersei too, like Qyburn’s brains are painting the stairwell, and the Mountain is occupied. So. Easy. And, I guess, cue ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’, but I wanted this for Arya.

Essie: I enjoyed Cleganebowl, even if it was TOTAL fan service, but this is what the Hound’s story has always been about. I winced when I thought Sandor’s head was going to go all Red Viper, and it was a beautiful ending for him. I too struggled a bit with the quick turn from Arya, but I think the fact that the Hound asked if she wanted to end up like him was an eye opener of sorts… plus, you know, she was watching the chaos and horror of what was going on outside as she was leading up to this. It really must have felt like they were awash in the apocalypse, and it’s difficult to maintain that thirst for revenge as the world is seemingly ending… unless, of course, you’re Sandor Clegane, whose raison d'etre is to kill your brother… world ending or not.

I’m just glad Arya decided to take the advice of George Michael’s t-shirt in the “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” video and chose life (over her list).

Jim: Cersei stumbles into severely wounded Jaime and they share an embrace while Cersei finally breaks down. They make their way to the basement of the Red Keep, only to find their way out is blocked by debris. Cersei realizes what is going to happen and begs Jaime not to let her die. In quite a surprisingly emotional moment considering their past actions Jaime holds her and says “Nothing else matters, only us.”

In a dark way, I thought it was a perfect death for Cersei in the sense that a character that was so full of herself, died, unwitnessed, in a dank, dark basement. Thoughts?

A lot has been made about Jaime’s abrupt turn of character and while I do agree it would have been better had it played out over several more episodes, it kinda sorta made sense to me in the end. I think it started a few episodes back when Tyrion made an offhand remark that Jaime always knew what Cersei was and he loved her anyway. If we had an entire season to mull that over and the implications of it, perhaps it would’ve gone over better? What are your thoughts on that? Did this scene hit you in the feels in any way or were you just like, “Bye, Felicia”?

Lacey: I’m going to start by saying that I’m not 100% sure that they’re dead. That’s how badly I want a different end for Cersei, I’m full-on in denial. It was all abrupt and rushed, which will be the title of my scholarly review of the last season of this show. If we had gotten more than 37 seconds of Jaime wrestling with leaving Brienne, perhaps it would have given me more feels. As it stands it’s kind of a big shrug from me. Sorry Kingslayer, fuckboi doesn’t look good on you.

Essie: While a stabby death at the hands of Arya would have been more satisfying, the fact that Cersei went out like that (or did she?) didn’t bother me as much as it did others. Not everyone can have this crazy death. I like what Jim said (wait…. I did? Who the fuck am I???) about her death going unwitnessed… well, to a degree. I expected something more, for sure, but it sort of rings true to me that in the middle of this chaos and the castle literally coming down around her, that she would die from it. If you ask who killed her, it wasn’t the rocks, it was Dany and Drogon. They brought that shit down on top of her.

Jaime, on the other hand, is a different story. I HATED what they did with his character, even if I get that his sister-lover was his biggest weakness in the world. They just turned him around so much and had him grow so much, that this payoff for him is not in any way what I wanted, and I felt like his actions, of ALL the things in this hurried season, was the most groan-inducing.

Jim: Jon Snow wisely calls for his men to fall back and evacuate the city. Arya attempts to make her way out too and a handful of times I thought our Wolf Girl bought it but she survived almost being trampled, blowed up, cut down by Dothraki, and being incinerated by Drogon. She is helped along the way by Westerosi Lori Petty and well, considering this is Game of Thrones, that good Samaritan and her daughter pay the price and are incinerated while embracing each other.

What follows is a beautifully shot moment as the Wolf Girl, covered in blood and dirt, looks at the carnage around her while ash falls from the sky like snow. She encounters a horse, splattered with blood, and rides it out of the city as the final credits roll.

My initial reaction, like a lot of other people, was that Arya is literally Death riding a Pale Horse and Dany is completely fucked now cuz she’s on the list. Then I read an article stating that in the Book of Revelation there is also talk of a White Horse which means something slightly different:

"Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he judges and makes war. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on his head are many diadems, and he has a name written that no one knows but himself. He is clothed in a robe dipped in[a] blood, and the name by which he is called is The Word of God. And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following him on white horses. From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule[b] them with a rod of iron.”

Since it did seem that Arya had some sort of revelation in her chat with the Hound, literally ten minutes prior, is it possible that Arya is done with her vengeful ways or is she totally back on that train?

Lacey: Perhaps she’s abandoned it, but I don’t know. The passage you quoted also reads to me like Dany’s ass still might be grass, with Arya the lawnmower. Just with the metaphorical mowing being for righteous reasons, as opposed to vengeful ones. Like, “Damn, Dany, can’t let you go burning any more cities to the ground.”

The chat with the hound also doesn’t ring true to me, as I said before, maybe if we had some time with them on the road? The Hound doing more counseling? I don’t know, I want more.

Essie: I honestly don’t know what to make of my girl and what is going through her head, but at one point as she was watching Dany and Drogon torching EVERYONE, I thought “someone just made the list!”

Maybe with all the horror that the Wolf Girl made her way through that she’s now finally had enough of the whole death thing. It’s really hard to say. BUT I also think that if she’s going to get back to killing soon, Dany is definitely on that list now. (Though I don’t think she’s going to get that kill coming on the heels of killing the Night King.)

Also, I was terrified for my girl during this entire episode, and when she was being trampled… well, it was tough for me to watch (but some great cuts and editing with that scene and Cleganebowl).

Jim: Lastly, I just want to hear your thoughts and predictions for how it all plays out next week, so have at it!

Lacey: Sweet Big Baby Jesus (RIP ODB), I can’t even begin. In the next times, we got a brief glimpse of Dany on the steps, surveying her forces, so we know she doesn’t get got right away. Maybe she doesn’t get got at all? Tyrion, Jon & Davos have to be disillusioned, but what do they do about it? Retreat to the North? Jon’s forces were slaughtering & pillaging along with the Dothraki & Unsullied, so how does he reconcile that? Will they still follow him? I am typing a lot of question marks here. Arya is severely concussed, so that’s going to be a whole other thing, that’s 2 concussions in a short period of time, with her murderous instincts, I’m very concerned about CTE, should she survive this.

Maybe Weiss & Benioff have been doing enough coke and drinking enough whiskey, that they’ll just blow it up? Maybe it’s all revenge for HBO denying that what if the South had won show they wanted to make? I’m back on the question marks again. Maybe Essie will have something coherent to say? She’s been living within this world longer than either of us. Sigh. Big sigh.

Essie: Well, let me start off my answer by saying that Dany now has to die, right? I think that seems to be where the story is heading. I can’t see all this story leading to her on the throne now and another madcap Targaryen dynasty taking root.

With that in mind, the question is then, how does it happen? The likely choices are Jon or Arya. I don’t think that Arya will get two big kills, so that leaves Jon. And with the way the show has an affinity for history sort of repeating itself, I can see some kind of scenario where the Mad Queen™ is going to burn Arya alive, much like how her father burned Ned Stark’s father and brother alive, and that is where Jon breaks and kills his queen-aunt-lover.

If that happens, the obvious question is what happens with Drogon, a pissed off, rage-fueled Grey Worm, and the rest of Dany’s army? And this is where I start to veer into I Have No Idea territory. Maybe Drogon burns some people alive and then flies off? Maybe they somehow force the remaining army to surrender and then allow them to return back to Essos? That doesn’t seem too likely. Maybe none of this happens. Maybe Dany has a profounnd moment of clarity about the monster she has become, and then shuts it all down, or goes with her army and Drogon back to Meereen? It’s really anyone’s guess.

The point, though, is that I don’t think she rules Westeros at the end of the series. This will fall to Jon, if he doesn’t die, but as we have heard time and time again “I don’ wan’ it!”, so maybe he then passes this to Sansa.

That’s my take on everything, but it’s just one idiot’s opinion, and seriously, at this point, who the f knows what these writers are going to do? I just hope it’s a satisfying ending to help make up for the rushed shortcomings of the last two seasons. Looks like we’ll find out in a few short days, and I. am. ready!

Always good to end things on a Mean Girls shoutout.

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Game of Thrones Recap Spectacular! Season 8 Episode 5 - "The Bells"